The Bus is Here

Yesterday afternoon we lost a friend to lupus. She'd had had it for a very long time. But even to the end she was in many ways an inspiration. Lupus is a cruel disease. It shows itself in many ways, it masks other diseases. But it can be unrelenting and it was with Suzie.

A couple of stories are key. They are in no particular order but taken together they explain why she was such a wonderful person. When Jerry and Suzie were married they came to Washington, D.C., where we were living, to spend their honeymoon. That was around Thanksgiving and so they came with us to my wife's uncle's farm. They still talk about the homesick girl who joined them one year. It was probably the first time Suzie had been that far away from home. I first met Jerry at UOP, he was a fraternity brother from Clovis, CA. He built a couple of businesses in his career from very small to very large. He is a wonderful promoter - of civic causes and business ventures. But after college he met this wonderful Serbian woman. As noted before her trip to D.C. she probably had not been out of Fresno County. But that did not limit her view of the world. She had a good sense of value in people.

Right before they were married I went back into the White House. Something everyone does when they get there is call their buddies using the White House operators. You can ask them to call a person in a city and they will search until they find them even with the most general of instructions. I had them run down Jerry - probably at 4 AM Califronia time. Evidently when they got through to him he rejected their entreaties the first couple of times - when I finally got him on the phone he asked me what I was calling about and I said in the Seinfeldesque response "nothing."

Jerry and I were fraternity brothers. Whenever we would get together part of the discussion was about our exploits. Suzie would wonder whether Jerry could ever have done "that" - indeed he did(or we did!). They built a first house in Fresno using some historic sugar pine logs. Then they moved to a larger place in Sanger - with a lake. It was a beautiful site. Suzie kept her family close - so her dad, after he retired, set up a shop in their garage.

A day before our daughter was born, Jerry and Suzie came for a visit in Sacramento, we had a long tradition of arriving and saying at our arrival, "the Bus is here." It was a standing family joke. So they showed up, and Suzie looked at my wife who was then 9 months pregnant and started to laugh. She said "I never thought I would see you like this! " At the dinner we had a few too many strawberry daquiris - for a couple of years after that we brought her strawberries.

Suzie's parents were also wonderful - big hearted, generous. It was impossible to visit their house without getting fed or something to drink, if you were there for more than a couple of hours the cycle would be repeated. Suzie carried on that tradition. Even when she was feeling lousy - which was a good part of the last 20 years at least, she would rally and cook a meal or make sure that we felt welcome. We always did.

We vacationed a couple of times with them and Suzie's parents. On one trip to Yosemite we stayed in tent cabins and did all the tourist things in the park. Suzie's mom and dad (who was a farmer and cement contractor) seemed to always find someone they knew. On that trip we also found a couple of small Sierra pine sprouts. Suzie's mother took the sprouts home. On our next visit down to Fresno we found they had taken the sprout to a small seedling. Suzie's mom gave the seedling to our son Peter. When we built our new house in Fair Oaks, we planted that seedling. The next picture on the blog is how that seedling looks today.

For several years we spent New Years with their family. The tradition was that one person would dress up as baby new years. The year I got the task I put on a striking red speedo. It was quite a sight.

Jerry has a tremendously optimistic constitution and Suzie had the same. When she learned she had the disease- which manifests itself in so many curious ways - she began to promote fund raising to fund research. They did a series of fund raisers in town and around the state. She went through some horrible times with all sorts of invasive medical procedures but I never heard her complain. The last time we visited, she had to be rushed to the Stanford medical center, we busied ourselves for the day - including making a CD of photos of their two Great Danes. Suzie came back from a day at the hospital and her first question was had we had lunch.

Before they moved to the coast both sons got married - Suzie rallied for each of the weddings - which were held at their house in Sanger. (A rural suburb of Fresno) They were wonderful affairs. Generous, not over stated and lots of fun. One son started his own business near us and has made it a success. The other started a karate school in Fresno.

Even as Suzie's disease progressed they got to travel a bit to lots of places. But the threat of an incident was always present. But it never got her down - she could be tired or wiped out - but I never heard her complain.

A couple of years ago Jerry retired from the business he had built from scratch and they moved from Fresno County to a place near the ocean - Suzie could not stand the summer heat. When he retired he sent me a note that annoyed me (as only a good friend can do) attached to the press release announcing his transition was a hand scrawled not "I beat you!" They moved to a beautiful house on the Pacific and made it better by cutting down some trees that blocked the view and then to a second one with an even better view. Jerry could not resist building some more things. He helped to start a wondeful community oriented bank in Fresno County - that will continue to help build the business community there. He helped to bring the Giants Triple A affiliate to Fresno. He began service on a couple corporate boards providing his expertise to help some family owned firms to work out the inevitable problems that family owned firms always have. Ironically, I was in Mexico this week speaking at a conference whose primary focus was corporate governance and we spent a lot of time discussing the challenges of family owned businesses - I had made a note in my mind to figure out how to get Jerry into their orbit - he would provide some wonderful expertise. The university I was at is beginning a center on family businesses and he could help them think out what issues are most important. I am sorry we did not see more of them in recent years. We had a great visit there a bit over a year ago. We had talked about going back down this summer and then got bogged down in the routines of life. That is something none of us should do.