Momentous Events

Our daughter turns 30 today. In 10 days she will get married. At this time in her life it would be appropriate to make some comments. When she was younger she counted time in "a few whiles" - her nephew (our grandson) counts time in "a few sleeps."

When she was born she was the first girl child on my side of the family for a long time. Her brother was a ground breaker for my wife's side of the family. My mother, and Florence Eisman, were ecstatic about her (Florence Eisman because that is what grandmothers buy for their grand-daughters and my mother only had one grand-daughter).

I wrote her a song (Emily bemily booglie brown) which we sang together for several years. When she was a small one she was on a soccer team which lost every game they played. I was one of the coaches and had heard from the neighborhood parents that they were not interested in winning (a myth in liberal neighborhoods). When we proved very successful at not winning, we heard from these formerly "mellow" moms and dads.

On her fourth birthday we had wanted a clown to come and entertain but for some reason we got a duck. The next morning, mustering all the indignation she could she sternly told us "Mother and Father, I do not want you to invite a duck to this house again."

She visited my bosses house about that time and when my then boss asked her hold old she would be next year - she said she was four then but would later be "all those other ages."

In her interview for kindergarten she commented about how she liked lobster neither her mother nor I had ever seen her eat it. She stayed at that same school from kindergarten through high school. When in high school she picked up an interest in soccer and was even at about 100 pounds a really competitive and aggressive player.

There were all sorts of incidents in school - mostly good. She did a great Cleopatra report - in costume. She took an honors scholarship for high school after I had been the only member of the board to oppose the program.

When she started to drive she was a leadfoot. After a couple of sets of brake replacements I grumbled that she could not drive until she wrote a report on brakes - she promptly did that in French, which I do not read.

I made the pronouncement that she would be chaperoned until she was (Fill in the age) and so her mother said, when a she and a bunch of her chums wanted to go to a rap concert, OK, you get to take them. (Glad I had my shooter's ear clips - the decibels were about 8000 in the auditorium.)

She went to France as a student. We were worried but she seems to have had a great experience. She even explained to her host family who "Slick Willie" (Clinton) was. When that family sent a boy to stay with us he spent his several weeks with his nose in escapist fiction.

She went to college, had a tragedy in her first year, with the death of a good friend, but surmounted it by the time she was a senior. Those kinds of things are tough. When she graduated the girl's mother hosted a luncheon for all of the girl's friends.

She had a host of boyfriends. Fathers of independent daughters do not get much chance to comment on those young men. (Although you would be amazed how little it takes to express an opinion.) At one point a group of fraternity brothers who had daughters laughed about the "growl" - when a young man comes around you respond two registers down and in monosyllables. The brothers who only had sons did not understand, but I did. The man she will marry is a great match - he understands her foibles but also her great gifts - which she has had since she was little. She seemed to attract, mostly, articulate and funny boys. One was one of the best BSers that I have ever met. But she finally saw through him.

After college she went to Europe with a guy who her mother and I thought she would either break up with or come back engaged. Thankfully, she broke up with him. She is thoughtful, creative and goal oriented (her wedding planning book is like an Army field manual). He was not. His best line, after being in a bunch of countries in Europe over a couple of months was "Gee, it will be strange getting back to one kind of currency." I wonder if he went back to Europe if he would be confused by the Euro. But as I said, she found someone who understands her qualities.

Then she got a series of jobs. A couple were clunkers. What I was impressed with (among other things) was her response when in her first job a terrible boss was trying to force her out and she extracted a more than reasonable settlement. A few years ago she started with a smaller company as a recruiter and I think she found a niche which utilizes her abilities. But that smaller company had a bizarre culture - run by 30 somethings who think attitude trumps performance. She figured that one out quickly. Her company now is in an area that she is interested in and where I think she will advance.

When she started to work after college she lived in San Francisco - first in the Presidio. She soon understood all of the nuances of SF (I am not a fan but she got the best out of it) even living in an apartment in the FIllmore (after she left the Presidio) which was not much larger than my current office. When her first real job gave her the choice of either moving to Chicago or taking another job - she decided to find a job in LA. And did that. First with a publishing company whose creative flair seemed most positioned on creating new niche titles in magazines.

When we had an interim priest, she quickly dubbed him "Fr. Terry, of the cloth" her ability to deal with double entendres is excellent. (That one was almost a trifecta).

She has become a good friend to my mother-in-law who lives in LA. Not because of obligation but because she wanted to do it. That is a rather rambling summary of her at 30 but at least it hits the highlights.

So excuse me if I am a proud dad. No don't excuse me - I should be.